Death Cafes

Since it’s Eccles Library Death Café this week, Friday 27^th March 2026, 1:30-3:30, I thought I’d explain a bit about what one is.

A Death Café is a space for people to talk about any and every aspect of death and dying, all over a hot drink and cake. The idea was developed in 2011, in London, by Jon Underwood and Sue Barsky Reid, and has spread across the globe, with events in over 97 countries.

Death cafes are for everyone, regardless of belief or background. Death is something that unites us all, and coming together to talk about it can deepen our understanding of each other.

One thing which often surprises people about Death cafes is how much laughter there is. There’s room for all and every emotion in these spaces, and laughter often goes along with the tougher stuff. Lots of people see the idea of talking about death as morbid, but the conversations we have a Death Cafes cover the light as well as the dark, and just being able to discuss things often kept hidden can create unexpected lightness.

I’ve been running Death Cafés for a while now, and no two are ever the same. There’s no agenda or set questions or topics, ever. I usually ask people to introduce themselves at the beginning and, if they are open to it, to explain what has brought them along. That can be the first and last time I speak in a session, since the multitude of reasons and stories that flow from that question can fill the session. Some people have come with a specific question or topic they’d like to explore or get other opinions on, and other times nobody has anything they want to discuss, but, somehow, the conversation always flows anyway.

Attendees are often keen to hear about other beliefs around death and dying, and open to sharing their own, but that’s never compulsory, and I do ask that all beliefs are treated with respect in the session. It’s not about converting people to your way of seeing things or imposing your view on others, but about sharing different ideas, which may resonate with others or just help them to understand another way of thinking.

Some Death cafes are about sharing stories about deaths we’ve lived through, about the people who have gone on ahead, or about our own funeral plans. Others are more abstract or philosophical: anything goes, as long as it’s respectful of others and broadly relates to the topic of death.

The more we talk about death the better, for a whole host of reasons, from helping us to live better lives to making sure things are as easy as possible for our loved ones afterwards, and Death Cafes are a great way to start having those difficult conversations. Just telling someone you are attending one has been known to prompt a meaningful chat about funeral arrangements!

If you’d like to try it yourself, visit https://deathcafe.com/ for links to Death Cafes globally, or come down to Eccles Library on the last Friday of every month, 1:30pm!