Introducing The Death Coach

Hello and welcome to The Death Coach.

I thought I’d introduce myself and explain a bit about what I do and why. I’ve had a range of roles over the years: from burger flipper to University lecturer, choreographer to home educating mother, stand-up comedian to funeral celebrant and many more in between. What I love most, other than standing at the front and talking in some capacity, is working with people. I’m fascinated by people’s stories, which is great when I’m writing funerals, since that’s exactly what they are.

I’ve been delivering funerals since 2018, something I got into after giving my dad’s eulogy, but I’ve wanted to work in this area since noticing how amazing the funeral directors were at a boyfriend’s aunt’s funeral many years ago. Without intruding, they got a churchful of grieving people in the right place at the right time, almost completely unnoticed, and I was blown away, and still am whenever I give a funeral.

The time was never right though, so I did other things, but death always tended to be part of it somehow, like in the unique Sex and Death module a colleague and I wrote and delivered as part of Salford University’s BSc Social Policy course. Then my dad died, and I realised that celebrancy was my obvious next step, so I trained with Humanist UK, and started leading funerals.

I still do this, and it’s still an absolute honour to do every single one. Being trusted to write and deliver the final tribute to anyone is a privilege, and one I never take lightly. But, doing this work, particularly working with dying people to create their funerals with them, led to me realising that some families could do with extra support, perhaps something to fill the gap that religious frameworks for death and dying leave for those who are  secular.

Without the ritual and certainty that religion can provide, some of us are flailing, looking for meaning in our lives, for ways to make peace with the end, for reassurance that those we leave behind are going to be okay, needing conversations that perhaps our families aren’t ready for just yet, and all of this can be hard to approach. This is one way that I can help: by holding space for the tough chats, working with you to create meaningful rituals that mark the transitions, and supporting you with legacy projects, personal, tangible ways to understand and celebrate your life’s worth. Knowing that I’ll be there for your family afterwards can also help bring peace to your final weeks.

Other people may be more practical and need less emotional or philosophical support and more hard planning. I can help with vigil planning, funeral planning, and anything else you need: helping you to clarify your wishes and goals around each stage of the dying process, and letting those around you know exactly what you want each step of the way.

I feel that everything I’ve experienced in my life so far, the good, the bad, and the ugly, has been bringing me to this point, where I am able to help others achieve the best death they can have.